At the end of the day...

She's sick of games and romance.

Maybe its time for a life,

That she can appreciate and cherish, not because she has to,

But because she wants to.

Enough of roses and late night phone calls.

Enough of paid for dinners and Saturday night movies.

Enough of cards with words of promise and admiration.

Enough of self portrait and sketches.

Are those the real yardstick for love?

Or are those mere obsessions of men in love?

So God,

Send her a man,

that makes her heart beat faster,

Not just because of him alone,

But because with him, she feels that you are closer.

A man that makes her heart beat, because with him,

She knows she can never astray from your road,

From your light and from your jannah.

A man whom she can build her own Kingdom of Heaven,

Raise true warriors and princesses,

That not only caters for the needs of the world,

But is able to portray Addin in their life and words,

In their behavior and opinions.

Dear God, whose love is without borders and boundaries,

From whom love originates and ends, grant me my du'a,

And in you my faith lies.

I think I wanna get married. 

There are a few problems though, the first and foremost being, there is no one for me to marry. 
As mentioned above, I've had enough of romance. 
Enough of those fantasy fairy tales, the roses and the valentines, the cooked meals, the poems etc. 

I've had enough share of those! Because in the end, as long as we're not married, they wont do those for me due to unconditional love. There is always something they expect in return. And then I feel sick to my bones and

POOF, 

its the end. And the irony of it is, I STILL have to do things on my own. Screw you.

So much for being the person I can depend on.

How can you blame me? In my family, we look out for each other like crazy. Like freaking super crazy I tell you.

My sister, my baby sister that is, she refuses to let me carry anything heavy. Is that super sweet or what? And here I had this guy, who wouldn't even help me carry a 5L bottle from the rinak.

And my daddy, he's just fab. I dont even have to twitch a muscle. All i have to do is say something, and its done. I dont have to do anything on my own. And here I have a guy who couldnt even help me extend my propusk or get my visa from the dean's office. And you expect me to fall in love? Tsk.

And my mama. She's a saint. She brings me back to my senses, she brings me to God, brings me closer to my Deen. She reminds me of Fate and Destiny, Heaven and Hell, all that is food for my soul. And I'm surrounded by guys who dont even solat 5 times a day.

How do you expect me to fall in love?

So I'm officially giving up on looking for blind love. The next time I fall in love, it's to get married, lillahi ta'ala. =)