The image on the mirror is not the same as the girl standing in front of it. In her eyes, it never will be. No matter how others view her, what others see, in her eyes are only reflections of the past.
Ghosts that haunt her memories.
Taunts that invade her dreams.
Memories that scar her heart.
Stepping away from the full length mirror, she grabbed her chain-sling bag, as she slipped on the 2.5 inch heels she so much adored. Dangling the car keys in one hand, she made her way towards the parking lot.
She parks into a parking space outside of Starbucks. Mornings start with coffee, a habit. A bad one at that. Ordering caffe latte; low-fat, to go was a routine she adhered to like a religion.
Walking towards the terrace, she felt herself shrink. People were starting to pour into the plaza, as morning slowly creeps away. She grasps the paper cup almost too tightly. And she feels her pace quicken.
She feels their eyes on her, scrutinizing.
She hears their whispers in amplified hertz.
She starts to shake, as she quickly broke into a steady pace of a jog.
She feels them, so unforgiving and cold.
She hears their mockery and sarcasm.
It was not the same people, it was not the present time, but she hears it all the same. The people from the past, the skeletons in the closet.
Slumping into the seat of her car, she found some comfort. Not even starting the ignition, she checked herself in the rear view mirror, tears already smudging the black eyeliners.
Instead of the gorgeous young lady with a long slender face and high cheekbones, it was still that pudgy faced girl from 7 years ago looking back at her. At she doesn’t think anything has changed.
It never will, unless she stops seeing the past, making room for the image of the present. Until that, nothing will change. Nothing.
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| memories are so unforgiving. unforgivingly beautiful. unforgivingly painful. |
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