Green-monster-syndrome

It seems that my insomnia might be chronic after all. It's never been this long before. But, as a wise man once told me, "It's not insomnia, its a gift of time."

For now, I need an outlet, so that this thought wont buzz in my head tonight. lol. and impose upon my 'extra-time'.

I wonder how to control the green monster within me. I guess i can say, that my green monster isnt actually small. its kinda huge. large. okay, humongous. there's this thing called pride, that ultimately dominates my green monster, which then leads to..u get the drift..so when i do something, i expect credit, and i cant bear when credit is given to someone else, but me. DONT look at me like that, its my green-monster-syndrome!

okay, so to be honest, i think i could be bipolar. i want credit, but when i get credit, i feel that im unworthy of it. i know2, like wth, yeah? but then again, im only human.
so getting back to trying to tame my green-monster. i should really think of my advantages i guess. i mean, i dont mean to sound vain, but a person cant simply have everything, correct? okay, i think im not bad looking. and considering im doing medicine, that means i've gotta be pretty smart too. my family isnt rich, but my last birthday present was :

so, really..its too much if i want attention and the best in everything, am i not right? then i'll just end up being hysteric. so yeah, malenkiivrach, snap out of that hideous rage pent up inside. u r only human, and wats more a malenkii one at that. if you keep on trying to prove that u are the best, u'll end up not learning..accept that u are lacking, and learn from those who are better. (or who think they are better-there u go again green-monster!). to have wisdom does not mean you have to put it on show.

"The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions."

so green-monster, im not going to breed you. one of u is enuf in me. so u listen well, live with me, as a guide for me to strive for the best, but dont you dare step over the border of dragging down my morale, becoz being this person that i am, i am totally capable of extinguishing ur mere existance. (or at least shrink u from humongous to tiny).

a daughter is a father's past lover, so they say. that is why i find wisdom and comfort in the words of my wise papa, in this case, he'd just tell me, "Cmon, U are a postive person!"

and so I echo, wth world, I AM A POSITIVE PERSON! =)