Eat Pray Love

This is where I forgive myself.

Watching “Eat Pray Love” late one night got me thinking, that thank goodness, I’m not the ONLY messed up soul walking this earth. Apparently, so is Julia Robert’s Liz. I practically laughed out loud when Liz whispered to Steven that night that “I don’t want to be married.” Against the splatters of the rain on the windowpanes and the soft shadows illuminating the folds of the shared bedcovers, I was caught in between a sense of familiarity and empathy.

It is true when Liz said that she wasn’t a part of the life she was so busy orchestrating. She was too engrossed in painting the image of that perfect life, that she forgot to put herself in it. The preoccupation of an idea does not necessarily mean that you want it. Liz was engrossed in the idea of a perfect life, which she believed to be true due to projections of the human norm. But somewhere in between, she doesn’t even know what she wants anymore. All she knows is that she isn’t happy, and she wanted to end that misery.

Imagine waking up next to a man you call husband or lover, and not even remembering the reasons you love him. He looks familiar, but at the same time, you feel like you are staring into the eyes of a stranger. His touch is warm but there is no comfort. And everything between you and him is like a rehearsed play, a routine of thoughts and actions.

Believe me, that feeling is scary.

That was why I loved the movie. It was as if I was reliving that 6 months period of hell. It was as if I was watching my own life being brought to life in front of me on screen. I felt that my eccentric actions were justified by the fact that, I’m not the only person who thinks like Liz. 

I just happen to be the only one among my friends.

I loved the places she travelled to. I have been to 2 out of the 3 places from the movie. And they were as beautiful as I remembered them to be. I was just glad that I shared those memories in Rome with a dear friend and in Bali with the company of my beloved family. And I plan to share the beauty of Taj Mahal with a lover. =)

If there is anything I’m thankful about after watching that movie, is that I have a Faith to adhere to. Humans are such mere insignificant beings, that if we had nothing to hold onto, then all these sinister thoughts are brought upon us more easily.

I am thankful that I do not have to travel the world to find balance. I find balance within the practices of Islam.

I am glad that unlike Liz, I didn’t have to give up everything I have in order to find God, because I believe that he is within me. God doesn’t want us to give anything up for the other; He says that Heaven and Earth coexist. And He paved the road to balance through a human so perfect and beautiful, Muhammad (Peace be Upon Him), who preaches the words of God, lying within the lines of the Holy Quran.

I’m thankful, that unlike Richard and Liz, I did not need misery to lead me to God.

So, in contrary to the collective opinions of my peers, yes, I loved Eat Pray Love, for it led me to believe, that it’s okay to be different.