my heart whispers in words..

so lend me your eyes, and listen..

Sunday 7 November 2010

The Heart that Wavers

She hangs up the Galaxy S with a little more than a smile. Knowing that her boyfriend was okay calmed down her nerves, especially after the argument the previous day. Slinging the pink stethoscope around her neck, she made her way to the 5th floor to join her group mates. That was when she saw him. And subconsciously, she felt her heart jolt, just a mere bit, but enough for her to notice it. Ignoring the normal composed and cold look on his handsome face, she made her way upstairs.


Him being close friends to her boyfriend did not help resolve the matter. And when she saw her boyfriend and him walking towards the bus together for the dinner, she found her eyes trained on him instead. Looking sleek in pinstriped black and grey shirt, fitting black coat and dress shoes, hair styled that spiky way she had always adored, she found her face flushing. And when he looked back at her, offering that shy smile, she felt her heart racing.

It wasn’t the first time. And she doesn’t think that that will be the last. When opportunities came that they crossed each other’s way, she found herself flustered. Those moments always came unforeseen. Like in internal disease, when by chance her partner was assigned to the same patient as him, she found herself standing in his room, very much stoned while her partner exchanged anamneses with him. She found her eyes wondering over his belongings, his bed, his bookshelves, his table. She knew she was blushing, and for once she was thankful that the Russians preferred these dull orange lights.

my heart, its falling apart.
forgive me.
Philosophy wasn’t a subject much adored. But she found that she needed to at least step up her speaking skills. Therefore during that combined class presentation, she decided to speak about Chaadaev. Her Russian was fairly good, that she knew. So when she spoke in that poised manner, fully in Russian, she found most of her colleagues’ faces space out. Searching the crowd for a familiar face, she found his. Nodding slightly to her speech made her feel that at least she was not spewing utter gibberish. And since that moment, she found herself looking at his face, seeking the comfort it offered. Ironically, her boyfriend was just a few rows away.

It didn’t feel right. Not when she has decided to pledge her loyalty to another person. Comforting herself with excuses of adoration, she managed to live with herself. But when she noticed that even after their one year anniversary, her feelings hadn’t changed, she is beginning to panic.
 
 Tell her, what do you do when your heart beats for the wrong person?


No comments:

Post a Comment